Be On Your Bus Behaviour

For many Ottawa students, the start of a new school semester means that most mornings and nights will now be spent riding the city bus. Unfortunately, in every bus there always seems to be a couple of passengers willing to cast off any notion of common decency the second they step through those double doors.

This propagation of improper bus etiquette has gotten so bad that some people are now classifying these “rule breakers” under names evocative of zoological nomenclature.

Glue magazine identifies these species of bus-holes so we can better plan our coping strategies.

1. Stinkers

We have those who like to brighten up our day with a dose of poor hygiene. One day you could be hair smacked by greasy hair guy, the next you’ll catch a big whiff of body odour man and on lucky days you might get both! It’s called PUBLIC transportation for a reason people. For our sake, please grab a couple of samples from your mall’s not-visited-enough perfume stores, so you could at least smell tolerable on the way there and back.

2. Bargers

If you are in a hurry to get to your destination, don’t be like the douchebags of the world who will step onto the bus not after the passengers step off, but while the passengers disembark. Wait until everyone gets off before getting on.

By barging onto the bus you’re not speeding up the process, you’re delaying it for everybody. And let’s face it, if you were actually in a hurry to get anywhere you wouldn’t be taking the OC.

3. Two-seaters

Oblivious to the passengers standing around them, the perpetrators will usually occupy an aisle seat, while their bag sits comfortably on the open seat next to them. On a regular articulated OC Transpo bus (the long ones) there are 53 seats. These seats are first and foremost meant for passengers. A bag is not a human, therefore it’s not entitled to a seat. So either place the bag on your lap, or let it play in the dirt on the floor so you don’t unnecessarily force a poor soul to stand up.

4. Phoners

Lastly we have those who are oblivious to the fact that the bus is not their own personal phone booth. They’e especially devious because they’re actually putting stress on the brains of other passengers. Etiquette expert Suzanne Nourse says when you only hear one side of a conversation the brain is thrown for a loop because it’s trying to fill in the missing information. The end result is that many have to expose their ears to high decibel sounds just to drown the incessant voice out. Thanks Jackass!

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